Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Guest: Alyssa Aaron
“Are you feeling better? Is talking helping?” he asked as he maneuvered the SUV off the exit ramp.
At the bottom of the ramp he turned right and followed the sign that advertised several restaurants in that direction.
“Yes it’s helping. I don’t feel quite as scared. I still feel—” he cast a sideways glance at her, mesmerized by the tangle of emotions that played over her expressive face as she searched for the right word.
“Uncertain?” he supplied. “Steak okay?” he asked as he turned the car onto the frontage road that served several fast food restaurants and a steak house.
“Steak sounds wonderful. No, not really uncertain, although that’s part of it I guess.”
He pulled the SUV into the Ned’s Steakhouse parking lot and parked. “So, if it’s not uncertain?”
“Uhm—Lost huh?” He pondered her choice of words, wondering what she meant by lost, what she still needed from him that he hadn’t given her. He killed the engine and turned in the seat so he could give her his full attention. “Talk to me about feeling lost Kara.”
She sucked in a deep breath and dropped her gaze to her hand that was still enclosed in his. He stroked her with his thumb.
“I feel like I don’t know anything.” Her voice was earnest. “I don’t know where I fit in this whole dominant submission thing. I don’t know anything about being submissive or what that means to you.” Her voice rose and caught and he thought for a moment she was going to cry. He longed to pull her against his chest and wrap her in his arms but she was too tense, her breathing too ragged and he knew that such a move would only make her pull away.
He knew she was used to knowing where she fit and that she was probably also used to feeling confident of her abilities. He hadn’t meant to, but he had taken that away and left her feeling uncertain and inadequate.
He wished he had it to do over again, and could take the time to make things right between them instead of rushing her into the marriage as he had, but he didn’t have that luxury.
“Dominance and submission is complex Kara. It’s different for every couple that does it. I cannot explain what it will become for us, partly because it will depend some on what you want it to be too. It’s the kind of thing you’ll have to experience to really understand.”
“Yes, but I’m afraid I’m going to mess everything up before I get there,” she sighed.
Her voice was so solemn that it cut at him. He stroked her cheek. “There is nothing to mess up Kara. I know I dumped a lot in your lap the day I asked you to marry me but really all I want from you right now is to earn your trust and get to know you better. The rest of it will fall into place over time.
She didn’t know how it happened or when she had stopped fearing him and had started trusting him, at least a little but his reassurance soothed her. He stroked her cheek and she nodded her understanding. Then his mouth pressed against hers. She tensed, anticipating the breathlessness and the terror as the memory of being held down, her breath cut off by someone larger and stronger teased the edges of her consciousness.
The kiss wasn’t like the ones that she remembered. This one was a gentle caress that coaxed more than it demanded. Slade’s mouth didn’t hamper her ability to breathe, didn’t cause her to feel dizzy or to black out.
She relaxed a little, bemused by the gentle stroke of Slade’s tongue along her lip and the command to open her mouth that he whispered against her lip.
She opened her mouth, unprepared for the soft stroke of Slade’s tongue as it teased her mouth. The unfamiliar intimacy sent a stab of heat to her center.
She was shocked by the warmth that filled her and by the lack of terror. There was no fear, no dizziness, no nausea, no panic attack. Only sweetness and the sense that she was okay, that Slade wasn’t going to hurt her.
She lifted her hands to his broad shoulders, liking the solidness of him beneath her hands. She didn’t protest as his tongue slid into her mouth, teasingnan intimate dance of liquid warmth in its wake.
Her mind raced. He’d been kind and gentle and matter of fact when he’d explained his feelings about dominance and submission and what he wanted from her. The whole day he’d treated her with kindness and respect. He hadn’t belittled her when he could have. He’d remembered her headache and gotten her medicine, he’d cared that she preferred Mountain Dew from the fountain rather than a bottle. It all combined making her feel soft and warm, cared for, and taken care of in a way that was completely new to her.
She clung to him feeling grateful to him for helping her brother and for trying to make her feel comfortable in this new marriage. His kiss deepened, his mouth urging hers to open more as one large hand slid up her back and beneath the curtain
of her hair to caress the tight spot at the base of her neck.
She opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to find hers again. His hand kneaded her tight muscles, easing the strain that had overwhelmed her. His tongue explored her mouth engulfing her in unfamiliar pleasure that made her open to him, admitting him, like a flower opens to admit the sunshine.
She felt his hand move as it slipped beneath her sweater. She shifted slightly, moaning a protest that was swallowed up by his mouth. “Um—please. Slade—no—” she murmured, twisting to avoid the touch of his palm as it slid up her rib cage toward her breast.
“Shhh Kara, I just want to make you feel good,” he whispered against her neck as his hand stilled. His other hand stroked her hair and her neck.
She heaved a sigh of relief, the knowledge that the hand beneath her sweater had paused that he was waiting for her permission to go forward eased her fear and made her feel more comfortable. The knowledge that he would stop if she insisted made her feel safe. His hand felt good where it rested against her rib cage. She both wanted him to touch her and wanted him to stop.
“Relax and let me make you feel good Kara,” he whispered in her ear as his hand began to slip slowly up her rib cage toward her breast.
She wanted to protest but her breath caught in her throat as his large, warm hand closed over her breast.
Leave a comment for Alyssa, join in the chat!