Hung Like A Bull
At first, I was jealous of her. Then she said, “He very strong. One-thousand kilos of muscle beneath me, thunder across field, bounce me up and down, up and down, make me scream whole time.”
That made me jealous of the bull. No guy likes to hear his woman describe how another male “made her scream the whole time”, so I swept her up in my arms and ran all around the apartment with her, prompting a couple of small cries of surprise. “Like that?” I said, setting her down.
I spun around, crouched down, and hoisted her onto my back, then again ran around the apartment as fast as I could. She didn’t scream much, but she did clamp her arms around my neck to hang on, so I figured that had to be worth something. “Like that?” I said.
“No, no,” she replied. “He two-meter tall at shoulder. He very fast, and his feet thump the ground heavy when he run, go—”
“Yeah, yeah – I know. Boom, boom, boom.”
I sat down on the couch, a little winded by my exertions. I knew I was being ridiculous. So she rode a bull in her teens. So I wasn’t the biggest, strongest beast she’d ever mounted, or the greatest thrill she’d ever experienced bouncing up and down. Get over it, I told myself. Don’t be so immature.
The problem, I soon realized, was that the apartment was too small. She wasn’t getting as much of a thrill riding me because I didn’t have enough space to reach my top speed. “Let’s go outside,” I said, “where I can carry you across an open field, just like he did.”
So we went to the park. I picked a downward slope to help me go faster, full of mounds and potholes to make the ride rough. Up she went, piggyback style once more, and down the hill I went, accelerating with each step, bouncing her all over the place. I even tried to sound like a bull, though, in retrospect, I probably mooed like a cow.
Halfway down the slope, I caught my foot on a rock and began to stumble. Sensing I was about to fall, she gingerly dismounted and landed on her feet. I, meanwhile, fell sideways and tumbled down the rest of the slope into a small pond at the bottom. My head had just popped out of the water when I saw her crouching at the edge of the pond. “Boom, boom, boom?” I said hopefully.
“No,” she answered. “But he go in water, just like you. He was water buffalo.”
That still wasn’t good enough for me. So I took her home and made mad, passionate love to her. “Boom, boom, boom?” I asked when it was over.
|My Third-World Girlfriend|
That made my situation crystal clear. If I don’t want to end up hung like a bull myself, I’d better keep her well fed!
And Remember: If you want to read My Thrid World Girlfriend, you can download it for free for the next 48 hours (or 2 days) from Smashwords using this code: TW68L
Hurry! The code expires Sunday October 23, 2011!